Counselor's Corner

Counselor’s Corner

“The Secret of a Long and Blessed Life”

              By Susan Causey, Med, LPC, school counselor

Recently, I heard a radio broadcaster talking about the importance of training a child to look an adult in the eye when spoken to. This simple training teaches children the important lesson of valuing and respecting others. This respect should begin with training children to honor their parents. Indeed, honoring one’s parents is the first commandment with a promise. (Ephesians 6:2) Deuteronomy 5:16 tells us to “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

         As we train our children to honor us as parents, we are teaching them to honor God and His sovereign plan for our lives. Honoring is exhibited in attitudes, words, and deeds. One way to train our children is to model honor and respect before them. As we seek to honor God, our own parents, our spouses, and the people in authority over us, our children are learning through osmosis the importance of respecting the chain of command God has given us. We can model this in various ways such as:

1.    Speaking well of them in public and private

2.   Seeking wisdom from them in challenging times

3.   Caring for them and their needs

4.   Listening to their concerns

5.   Praying for them

6.   Forgiving them

7.   Seeking for peace in these relationships

8.   Spending special times with them

9.   Seek to bring them joy!

10. Living your own life in a God honoring way to bless them

In addition to being a role model for your children, it is important to actively train them. Some ways to do this would be:

1.    Teach them to be obedient the first time you ask.

2.   Do not allow them to whine or complain without consequences.

3.   Never let them speak to you in a rude or dishonoring way without calling them out.

4.   Require that they speak to adults politely when an adult speaks to them.

5.   Require them to show restraint when in a gathering of adults.

6.   Do not let them interrupt an adult conversation unless it is an emergency.

7.   Teach them simple etiquette such as table manners, please and thank yous, yes ma’ams and yes sirs.

8.   Ask them to offer help to older people when there is a need.

9.   Teach them to talk respectfully of their teachers and to take responsibility for their own work.

10.         Pray with and for them concerning these issues.

When we exert the energy to train our children in these ways, we are giving them a gift which is immeasurable-- the secret of a long, happy, and well-lived life.